Leading and Loving

     Depending on what kind of background you come from, you probably have a different view of leadership than I do. I've recently been evaluating my views on leadership and thought I'd share some of my thoughts. I grew up with an achievement mindset, meaning I had to achieve things in order to have a positive view of myself or others around me.  All growing up I was told I was a great leader, but I just thought it was because I worked hard, got good grades, was nice to other people and was good at sports. This mindset has slowly been changed and I have a different view now, which I am very thankful for. The change began while I was part of a  ministry and leadership training internship. As part of progressing through the internship, many people became leaders after one year, and got to lead a small group during their second year before completing the internship.
      I have to laugh as I look back on my first month of leading. I still very much had an achievement mentality and had a very difficult time sitting for two hours with other girls and talking about life. I just wanted to get back to work, to go sit at my desk and stare at a computer and do something that I could mark off a checklist. It was a humbling experience as I realized over the next several months that leadership was about much more than getting things done, but rather it was about people. Those were some of the most streching months I had experienced up to that point and I am thankful for the women who guided me along that process and for the precious ladies who got stuck with me as a leader. I am so thankful for my growth during that process!
    I recently had the chance to go back and talk with some young ladies who were graduating from the same internship. One of the topics we discussed was what leadership looked like stepping out of a place where you are titled with that position. I had a fairly simple statement from the observation of my own life as I have transitioned out of that same place:

Leading people means loving people.

    I have heard love described as fighting for another person's highest good. There is no other place I would rather lead from than trying to help someone get to the place of their highest good, whatever it is that means for their personal life. Leading is best achieved when it comes from a place of authentic love, not a forced situation. I find that even now when I have difficult days with the people in my sphere of influence it is because the posture of my leadership is not coming from a place of love but rather from title. This is a dangerous place to be, because my leadership then reflects what is best for me, not necessarily what is best for the people around me.
    I currently get to be a part of a few different ministries at the church I work at, working with infants through college students. It is a wide range of people, all of which I have different interactions with. I can't tell you all their names or all of their stories, but I do know that I want what is best for their lives. In order to achieve this I can only lead with a heart full of love that I hope is reflected in my leadership. So if you want to lead and lead well, love the people around you and watch your leadership transform.

Spring

I love that spring is just weeks away. I don't mind the snow or the cold, in fact, it's snowing right now and I am throughly enjoying it but there is something about spring that I love. Growing up in a family of educators summer was our safe haven, a time to breathe and be together. So naturally, when spring came every year it would make me aware of the closeness of summer and time to play and be together. This spring I am particularly excited because there are so many things coming in the next few months that make me excited. Here is a short list of things I'm thinking forward to:

1) I am half way done with my school semester and only 21 credit hours from graduation!
2) My parents are coming to see us in April. This in itself is blog worthy. I love visits from my parents!
3) Easter. Easter is one of my favorite holidays. Thinking about it even makes me teary eyed. Realizing the sacrafice Christ made for us and dwelling upon the power that conquered hell stirs something alive inside of me.
4) Going to Belize. JD and I are helping lead a missions trip to Belize City. Every one of my missions experiences have been so different from one another (the last one not being a great experience) so I am going into this trip with great excitement and anticipation.
5) Desperation conferences. This will be my 7th summer going to conference. This conference holds a special place in my heart that I look forward to every year.
6) The smell of rain and fresh cut grass. I love these smells, it triggers so many great memories.

I will probably go into detail on some of this list in later blogs, but for now, Happy Almost Spring!

For Jamie

This blog is in honor of my twin sister Jamie. Today is our first birthday not spent together....sad, sad day! As I have spent the last week or so realizing we weren't going to be together I thought of a lot of funny memories of past birthdays.

For example, Jamie, do you remember our 8th or so birthday party? Sleepover with a ton of girls and I fell asleep and no one could wake me up, even after slamming my head into the coffee table?? Funny.... Or our 13th birthday dance party in our living room because it was too cold to be outside? Then Jennifer's attic caught on fire that night! Chaos. The unforgettable moment on our 14th birthday where you choked on orange juice and tried to give yourself the Heimlich with your back brace on.  There was also our 15th birthday when Heather came to surprise us and there was a dance at school (not going to lie, was much more successful than ours!) and Dad dropped all of our friends off in the Burb! I'm not going to even mention our 16th birthday for obvious reasons that I am sure you will recall. Our 20th birthday is when you met JD and didn't like him... sorry about that! And then our 21st when you were so mad all day I wasn't going to see you and SURPRISE!

I love our memories together but would love it so much more if we could spend today with each other. We've got to figure out how to make this happen!

Spring 2007

The most common question I'm asked when people find out I'm a twin is, "So do you like being a twin?" I always smile and say yes but there's no words to really communicate the relationship Jamie and I have. Growing up, she was my protector and the one that could make everything better (unless of course she was the one that made it bad and then that was my other sisters' jobs). All the kids were scared of me, not because I ever did anything but because they didn't what to know what Jamie would actually do to them if she ever heard them being mean to me. We were chefs and ballerinas and gymnasts together when we would watch something pertaining to it on TV. She always let me get my way and be the Pink Power Ranger too! We played sports together, took every class together, and somehow grew up to be completely different people. Now we are still best friends, and I always know who to call to decide if I need sympathy or to move on. If I don't know how to make something, or just did something I'm proud of, I know I always have a supportive ear. I admire my sister's courage to not stand down to a fight, to be her brilliant self and do amazing in school, and to get ready everyday and look like a my size, fair skinned Barbie.

There are so many reasons I love being a twin, most of all because of how much I love my twin sister. So here's to you, Jamie, with as much love as you can glean from a blog! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

My Old Friend & Juggling

I know it has been forever since I last posted a blog. I really try not to be one of those people who have a blog but only post like twice a year. I've actually started three blogs since my last post, but none of them got completed. One day I will finish them....one day.

I have had an old friend make a reappearence in my life recently: busy-ness!! I grew up with this friend and am thankful for my Mom and Dad who taught me how to live life very well with him. It's in my blood to juggle a lot of different plates but since I got married in June I had taken a sabbatical from it. January brought it back full swing though!
After being gone for the holidays I came back and Castle Rock finally starting feeling like home instead of my current place of residency. After being back only two days I got a job. It was like a little kiss from God! I have been on for almost a month and am taking a full load of classes, so even though I feel a little rusty in my juggling act, I am enjoying life so much! JD and I often have these conversations about how amazed we are at our lives.

One thing through the chaos I am learning is appreciating each day for what it is worth and finding the value in not what I am doing but who I am becoming. I have been plagued with this achievement mindset since I can remember and so when I am working on a lot of things at once I have always had the habit of pushing toward the goal no matter regardless of who or what I have to run over in the process. It's only been a month but I haven't found that person at all! Instead, I find that I am taking my time, even in the small things, and that it is okay to take a break or to let someone else do some of the work. It seems so simple but at times it's really hard to kill my pride. It's admitting that I am not and can't be Superwoman. It is so freeing though seeing my reflection in Jesus, where He is not waiting for me to produce something for  Him but simply to acknowledge Him in all I am doing. I feel blessed beyond belief in what the Lord is doing in this season and the having the opportunity to be part of it with Him. It's my hope that I stay steadfast not on the small goals in front of me, but the ultimate Prize that is waiting for me.

Happy Juggling!!