Life has been interesting lately to say the least. For those of you who know me I have a very driving personality. I like order, I like schedules, I like being informed, I like knowing details. Sometime in the last several weeks all of that has gone by the wayside and I’m finding myself to be this person I’ve never met before, and to be quite honest, am not really liking. I find my daily schedule changing about three times a week. I have four weeks left of school but seem completely unmotivated to even read a chapter (which let me tell you is very dangerous for a student who takes all online classes). I find myself wanting to sleep a lot, like I’m sick or something; the only problem is that I’m not sick. I just want to shake myself and be able to wake up from a somewhat unharmful yet very unlikeable dream. It’s like someone changed me with a weird twin one night when I was sleeping (and no, not Jamie. Jamie would never run my life like this, I’m well confident of that!).
This morning during my quiet time I was trying to get motivated, to shake this little spell off and return to my old self, the driven, self motivated and self confident one. All of things are happening and yet there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not like I brought any of this on myself so I can’t just reverse something I’d done wrong. In some ways it’s just depressing. I began praying about it and as usual was led to the perfect passage for the time.
Colossians 2:13-14 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.
Regardless of how I feel the message of the cross stands true. Jesus died for me, conquered anything that stood between us, made me pure, and I can stand alive in Him, whether my emotions agree with the notion or not. What joy! I’m happy today to be alive and hope that soon I can navigate through the chaos that seems to have overtaken. I know I will make it on the other side and stand on the promise that I will look more like Jesus when I get there.
